Why is it that todays families think the best way to bring up a kid is to drive them home at 4pm from school, stick them on a pushbike and then lock the door – leaving them to cycle up and down the street – and more importantly leaving them to sit in the tunnel which runs UNDER my front room, and shout about while I’m trying to work?

What happened to actual parenting. I don’t remember my parents throwing me out on the street to cycle around dodging cars as people come home from work.. until 7pm.. then stuffing some food in me and sending me to bed

If people don’t want to be lumbered with kids – why have them in the first place?
I hate kids, cant stand them, they make my blood boil after about an hour… so I’ve never had any.. wasn’t a difficult choice.

What do these parents do while their kids are cycling about as mobile targets for my bonnet? Well one of them seems to enjoy thrashing a stupid remote control car up and down past my house, obviously failing to realise he’s actually not 8 anymore. The other one sits and has a fag and listens to a bit of hardcore out his rover sound system so loud that my windows shake in the house.

I pray for winter when its too cold for these kids to play outside, before they have to watch me beat their dad to death with a 12″ subwoofer freshly ripped from the boot of a rover!